Monday, May 31, 2010

Awareness Is The Enemy Of Insanity

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I want you to ask me to run away with you; to the universe. We'll make a spaceship and blast of to space. And we'll dance on the moon and kiss the stars. We can sleep forever because it's always dark and we'll never have to wake up from this dream. We don't have to exist.

I don't want to feel anymore. I wish I could tell you. I wish I could tell you everything. Maybe I hope for too much, but I can't help but want the whole world. And if I never did, then would it never have the chance to come true? I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm delirious, insane, out of my mind for thinking you'd ever want a girl like me. I still can't accept your kindness; I don't understand it nor do I think I deserve it.  

You're everything he wasn't, you're everything I need. But I'm frightened. I fear I will harm you and hurt you. I don't want to. It's my nature, it's my defense. Keeping you at a distance, out of reach from the strings of my soul, disabling you from ever strumming them, is the safest way to go. But whoever said love wasn't a rollercoaster? We're not strapped in baby.

Maybe I should stop. But I don't know how.

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If I can't feel, I'm not mine, I'm not real.

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