Wednesday, July 14, 2010

She Dances Fantastic

I never wrote an official welcoming of summer post so I guess now I will.
So far this summer has been the best one I've ever had in my life; I've been making a consious effort to get out of the house and expierence the world. On top of that, being in recovery has totally changed my life for the better.

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I want to make this life worth living again. I want to rip my ribcage open and let life rush through me and pulse through my veins. With each word that passes my lips a memory will be attached; a feeling, a sound, a moment that will never be forgotten. I'll dip my fingers in ink and touch everything I can. I'll leave my mark on the world. My goal is not to be forgotten; I don't have to be remembered for something great. I don't need to accomplish anything in order to be loved or cherished. I don't need riches or materials or things. I just need to be. I want strangers to never forget me. I want my family and friends and peers to never forget. I want them to learn from my mistakes and rejoice in my successes and happiness. Let's spread the love. Who cares if we sound cliche. Happiness isn't overrated; and those that think it is are too afraid to expierence it themselves. It's not something to avoid, it's the most precious thing life can offer and should be cherished for you never know when it might be gone.

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And I can't wait for school. I'm not one of those people that just loves everything about school because honestly there are times when I just can't stand it but I'm excited to start a new life. As cheesy as it sounds, I built up a false reputation that wasn't me. People saw me for someone else. Not that I care what people think of me but it bothers me that for most of my freshman year I was living a lie. My anorexia had transformed me into a someone I didn't reconize. But now since going through recovery and rediscovering the joy of life, I want people to see me for who I truely am. Because even with my insecurities, I love myself now. I'm so much more caring and compassionate towards my body, forgiving of my mistakes, and loving and accepting of my needs and emotions. I'm human again. I want so much out of life and I want everyone to know it. I want to connect with people again. I want to share interests and laugh and sing and dance and I want to not care anymore. I want freedom. I want to find and expierence the simple joy life has to offer.

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9 comments:

MMM said...

you both look great!!
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Zuzolińska said...

I really like those pictures, very inspiring

Leah said...

Lovely images... so beautiful. And yes, life is short so make the most of it. Seize the day! xoxo

How To Eat A Cupcake said...

Good luck with recovery. My mom went through a similar situation before I was born. Recovery turned her life around. :)

Maddie M. said...

Wow. This was so beautiful and inspiring to read. Honestly, Cassidy, you just have such a beautiful perspective on the world. Never lose it.
I enjoyed our talk last night!
xoxo

Cassidy said...

thanks everyone ! i adore your comments; they really make my day !

maddie - thank you !! and i enjoyed it as well; good to get to know you a little better :}

Mimi said...

Great summer post!

Definitely enjoy this short life, and I must tell you that you are beautiful inside and out. I may not know you all that well, but I can tell you are an amazing person. When I started high school I definitely cared what others thought and said but then in my sophomore year I was growing into my own and I no longer cared. And I still live by that today.

Hakuna Matata [Timone and Pumba were so ahead of their time lol]

xo

Cassidy said...

Mimi - i appriecate your comment, i really do . i'm going into my sophomore year and i can proudly say i no longer care anymore . it's such a waste worrying about what others think about you because at the end of the day , i'm the only one who is me .

Anonymous said...

i've seen most of what you wrote other places before you wrote this entry:/

but i love your imagges