She Dances Fantastic

I never wrote an official welcoming of summer post so I guess now I will.

So far this summer has been the best one I've ever had in my life; I've been making a consious effort to get out of the house and expierence the world. On top of that, being in recovery has totally changed my life for the better.

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I want to make this life worth living again. I want to rip my ribcage open and let life rush through me and pulse through my veins. With each word that passes my lips a memory will be attached; a feeling, a sound, a moment that will never be forgotten. I'll dip my fingers in ink and touch everything I can. I'll leave my mark on the world. My goal is not to be forgotten; I don't have to be remembered for something great. I don't need to accomplish anything in order to be loved or cherished. I don't need riches or materials or things. I just need to be. I want strangers to never forget me. I want my family and friends and peers to never forget. I want them to learn from my mistakes and rejoice in my successes and happiness. Let's spread the love. Who cares if we sound cliche. Happiness isn't overrated; and those that think it is are too afraid to expierence it themselves. It's not something to avoid, it's the most precious thing life can offer and should be cherished for you never know when it might be gone.

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And I can't wait for school. I'm not one of those people that just loves everything about school because honestly there are times when I just can't stand it but I'm excited to start a new life. As cheesy as it sounds, I built up a false reputation that wasn't me. People saw me for someone else. Not that I care what people think of me but it bothers me that for most of my freshman year I was living a lie. My anorexia had transformed me into a someone I didn't reconize. But now since going through recovery and rediscovering the joy of life, I want people to see me for who I truely am. Because even with my insecurities, I love myself now. I'm so much more caring and compassionate towards my body, forgiving of my mistakes, and loving and accepting of my needs and emotions. I'm human again. I want so much out of life and I want everyone to know it. I want to connect with people again. I want to share interests and laugh and sing and dance and I want to not care anymore. I want freedom. I want to find and expierence the simple joy life has to offer.

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