Saturday, January 29, 2011

I'll Give Her Melodies

An excerpt from a short story I'm writing:
     
          I never realized how much I appreciated those summer months after four years of hell. Those lazy, drowsy days make me want to drop out of school and never get a job. I want to read all day longing in the golden sunlight, eating strawberries and smoking cigarettes. And when dusk comes, perhaps I’ll invite a few friends over and we’ll dress up in party dresses with sequins and tulle. We would never leave my backyard, but instead, make apple martinis and chatter in the candlelight. We would refill our lipstick-stained glasses with vodka and fruit juice until we were impregnated with a fireball, that would spread warmth throughout our lanky limbs and our bloated bellies. There would be twenty-seven dead cigarette butts, between the three of us, thrown carelessly in my homemade ashtray (or on the cobblestone patio) with  red and violet and pink stains.
  That was the last summer before we moved into our own apartment. It was dirt cheap, but it was evident when we first moved in that we had gotten what we paid for. The red paint on the walls were chipped and the hardwood floors creaked under our black-patent-leather-clad feet. On the carpet in our single bedroom had numerous spots, smaller than the circumference of a penny, that were the color of charcoal as if someone had put out their cigarette on it. The only two rooms that had walls for privacy were the one bedroom and the bathroom. It was a shit-hole, but it was our home. 
  As soon as we unpacked our meager belongings (or rather, threw them all on the floor), all three of us embarked on our journey to design the most imperfect, perfect apartment. We weaved in and out of thrift stores, wandered into independent shops, buying and collecting furniture and trinkets for our new home. Our plan was simple. Each of us would purchase home wares based on our personal style and also, practicality. Then, we would combine our possessions and treasures in order to construct the most eclectic, bizarre apartment that would reflect our idiosyncratic qualities. 



23 comments:

Binny said...

thank you! your blog is also very lovely - I love the pictures you post!

mckenzie. said...

Gorgeous, how charming that denim jacket is. x

Monica said...

GO SEE BLACK SWAN! It's amazing :)

Love this post!

M.

ALYSSA said...

loooove your writing!!!

Urth. said...

Super! i like retro! and your writing is amazing ! xoxo

TheMadTwins said...

These pictures are amazing.
The last picture is hilarious XD what-ever XD hehehe. Genius!

xxx London & Paris

ps: would you like to join our giveaway

freyja said...

ah great pictures, love them :)

www.theperfectplayground.blogspot.com

Carys said...

Beautiful pictures, and I love that story! You write so nicely.
From Carys of La Ville Inconnue

Julia said...

lovely! so inspiring:)

valncami said...

love your writing! and all the photos are so cute. i always love coming to your blog <3


hope to hear from you soon!
xo, camilla & valerie
abutterflybyday.blogspot.com

April said...

love these photos, and thanks for sharing your writing!

Vanilla said...

Really cute jacket :)

Love, Vanilla

http://vanillaheartsstyle.blogspot.com/

Lilly of the Valley said...

hey there, you have such a gorgeous blog. You have an amazing collection of images and photographs, I espectally love the lolita set!!! xo

Caroline said...

That sounds so perfect, i am longing for summer so badly at the moment!! Love the photos too, the second one is brilliant!
xxxxxx

Barbara said...

i really miss long summers too.... beautiful pics! thanks 4 the inspiration

A Whimsical Girl Named Debbie said...

This post is divine! love the pics! Thank you sweetie for dropping by GirlWhimsy. Have a whimsical week!

http://girlwhimsy.blogspot.com

Kimia Kline said...

loveee these photos. especially zoe deschanel.

sbot said...

Love these pics.

Thanks so much for your comment, check out my new post if you like : )

www.baublesandbangles.blogspot.com

www.rosivintage.etsy.com

-Stephanie

Annabel said...

Thank you for your kind words on my blog... Love this collection of words and images x

Sick by Trend said...

hey!!! very cool this post and your blog!! what header!! is fantastic1:) im a new follower!

Look my blog and if you like it, follow me.

www.sickbytrend.com

xx :)

sBt

Nikki said...

I love the photos and the way you bring the story to life with your descriptions.

Izzy said...

Such inspiring photos and writing! Thanks for the reply, just found my film camera :D Thanks for the lovely comment, new post up!
www.swampedinflowers.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

The tenses in the first paragraph are really confusing--you say you miss the summer days, then profess that you want something that you explain the first part in the future tense (saying you WILL do this and that) and then it randomly switches to things that WOULD happen... it is slightly offputting.

I think you're very eager to write about a lot of these happenings, like going to the thrift stores, but I think it might be really beneficial and good for the development of the story to actually explain these pursuits to boutiques and thrift stores. I feel that way about the apartment, too. I know that it's a shit hole and that it's your home, but maybe add a little more imagery about little details, you know? I think I'd be more enveloped in this excerpt if you showed me more, rather than told me.

It has a lot of potential and I really want to read it all done. If this were a published book I can already tell that I'd read it guiltily on the beach and lovingly insert myself into the character's positions. But as for now, it all seems a little stagnant, and devoid of warmth, and I think you need to take a little more time to explain things. but that's just me!