Sunday, January 2, 2011

This Is My Mind

As I was walking home garbed in a beige winter coat with a leopard print collar, a 32 ounce Diet Coke in one hand, and my red purse in another, I watched as an old, run-down jeep sped by me. I gazed at it cynically, a curious feeling coming over me. As it passed by, a teenage boy, whose face I could not identify, rolled down the window and yelled "Sup bitch!". I could faintly hear him over Courtney Love's voice filtrating through my ears, but I knew I wasn't mistaken. His words were like a jab to my abdominal. Dread wrapped itself around my innards, clenching and squeezing them like a moist rag. My pride was bruised and my self-confidence wavered. My initial reaction was to bow my head in shame and shrink away from the public's view. That stranger had abated my enthusiasm and hope. The night prior, I had began to read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne which is all about the Laws of Attraction and how negative thoughts can attract negative events and how positive thoughts can attract positive events. I was bursting at the seams with positive and vivacious energy, dismissing all my negativity about society, people, and myself as a whole. How is it possible that all that hopefulness has been reduced by two words uttered by a mindless, bored teenager? It amazes me how disrespectful and ignorant people can be. Words are powerful and not to be taken lightly. Certain words have different connotations for different people. I'm sure someone else who possesses more self-confidence than I would dismiss such an idiotic phrase and continue on with their day, the event most likely never crossing their mind again. But I am not someone who is totally and utterly secure with myself. And comments such as that penetrate deep into the limbic system of my brain. 

I began to see the bigger picture. This wasn't just about me. This was about humanity as a whole. And about respect, morality, integrity, equality, and feminism. First of all, "bitch" is a word that should never pass a man's lips and reach a female's ear's pinna. It's a violation of respect and it's demeaning. Sadly, there are many who use the derogatory term often and there are women who are hurt by it yet refuse to voice it. I have no tolerance for such a word. If that boy had not been in a passing car, I would have defended myself along with my female comrades. In my raging outbursts regarding the hurtful slang thrown around by oblivious people directed at woman, many have tried to diminish and invalidate my vehement emotions. I refuse to recognize it as an over-reaction. It's not right, it's hurtful. Where is the integrity? Where is the conscious and morality? Everybody has morals. Even those young boys do. Where is the equality, the mutual respect?

I am a feminist, but not a radical one. I don't believe men are evil. I don't hate them. I don't resent them or carry grudges. I believe in equality between genders. I believe in mutual courtesy. I believe that if everyone were to respect and accept one another, we would have a more peaceful and productive world. I question every day why must me fight? Why must we fight reality? People fabricate these delusions that someone who is different than ourselves are inferior. Why must we discriminate? Why must racism exsist? Why, why, why. We all question the world. Why can't we all join together? As brothers and sisters? As friends and family? As human beings?

 We are one race. We are one. We are equal.


Leah said...

Thank for your comment, I love that picture too ! Happy new year to you ;)

xx Leah.

Kat said...

you're such a lovely writer cassidy... can i ask you to do something?

Brenda said...

You're so right. I would of been hurt by that word myself. Some guys these days have no respect. Love that last paragraph :)

MsShamz said...

I loved reading this, your writing is excellent and you should definitely pursue it. I ask myself those questions sometimes too. Why cant well all just get along?
be strong

sparkleweed said...

Thank you for your comment, I hope that you're having a lovely time too :] Your blog is gorgeous - followed!

Tess S. said...

wow. i can totally relate to this post. Reading The Secret really changed my life. At first it is hard to not let other people's negativity effect your mindset but eventually negative stuff like, other people's words, will really become insignificant. I really hope this book has the same power for you as it did for me!

Tess S.

paperwhales said...

You're an excellent writer. Thank you so much for writing this up and sharing your story. Feminism should be something men and women should not be afraid of to say and believe in. I am not a radical feminist as well, but I do strongly believe that we, as women, as human beings, should have the right to equality and not be degraded as inferior, and often, sexual creatures.

It's also important that we continue to voice our opinions and to not bring up the F word. It is not a word that should be shameful to say. I believe it's a word signifying empowerment.

paperwhales said...

to not be afraid* to say the F word

Rose said...

What a great post! I love posts, or should I say blogs with feeling like yours.
If only people would respect and accept on another, I have found this to be a huge problem at my work place and it really darkens the workplace.


sacramento said...

I missed many of your post, but I am here to stay.
Un abrazo my dear friend, and all the best for 2011.

kirstyb said...

well said x

Juliet said...

Great text, I agree 100%!!

juliet xxx

daisychain said...

You have such a way with words xox

Nikki said...

That is so sad. I would hate to be the mother of that boy. I agree with you, we shouldn't use that word.

My coworker called me a bitch the other day at work over something trivial. I wouldn't have cared if I was intentionally being one, but I was not. It hurt me pretty bad and I'm still holding a grudge.

When things like that happen, I try to give the person the benefit of the doubt (in my head). Maybe he just broke up with his girlfriend and was looking for someone to hurt.

Summer said...

i completely agree!!! Thanks you so much for your sweet comment, doll! come back soon :)

xoxo summer

Paislea Elyse said...

i love this. you are an amazing writer. i wish that i could write like you!!! your vocabulary is amazing and your flow is excellent.

but - i completely agree. things said like that are hard to get over. even if it is just a dumb kid that doesn't realize his effect on people.

i'm sorry this happened.

allister bee blog

QueenDesi said...

great post!!
i really agree with you..
thx for share :)


in Love&Light
Queen D

My Republic of Fashion said...

That was a horrible thing to happen...:( But, great post!


Mei said...

Leave the bad times behind and walk in the fresh new start in 2011! So Happy New Year :)

I'm a feminist but not a heavy one.
Like you've said I don't have a grudge on the male world.
I also believe in equal but at some point, it's unfair sometimes. Women who has the same function/job as men still earn less than the guys.
Oh well~


Courtney K. said...

I couldn't agree more. Feminism isn't about being 'better' than men, it is about being equal, and expecting to being treated as such.

Miss Becky said...

Hi Cassidy

You write with beautiful courage.
I recently rec'd The Inspiring Blogger Award, and part of the deal is to pass it along to three bloggers who inspire me. You're most definately one of them. If you choose, stop by and take a peek!
Have a beautiful day.

karo said...

great blog dear!
i followyou!!!!!


Marie a la Mode said...

You're a fantastic writer! I agree, let's join together and cut the bullshit.

classiq said...

You're an excellent writer. Thank you for your comment. Happy New Year! Have a fabulous 2011!

Paula said...

Beautiful post Cassidy and congrats on your award. Situations like these can be upsetting. I tell myself that this person a) lacks intelligence and opportunities in life to make them a better person b) grew up with poor role models/knows no better ...makes the negative feelings subside x

Hannah said...

Beautiful photos xx

le pearl said...

oh I am sure he is going to get the ladies once he grows up :/

If he ever does. Great post m'dear. I usually skip right past the walls of text but I am glad I stopped to read x