The Land Between Solar Systems

My body is heavy with sleep and my mind is already overwhelmed with stress. But my lips are turned upwards, my belly aches from laughter, creativity spews from my soul, and my heart is full of joy and love. Junior year is wonderful. I adore my classes, teachers, and the subjects I'm learning about. Finally, I feel absolutely free from the control of negativity and my eating disorder. I am comfortable, loquacious, and happy. Finally, finally, finally. It seems I have been waiting for this day the first time I stepped foot into my first treatment center. I am at home with my body, mind, spirit, and soul. I nurture each one with food, knowledge, friendship, beautiful music, books, and art. God, I am so utterly dazzled with life.

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Beyond the Sea

Unrequited love is the only love I know.

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Paris

          I don't know why I waited so long to tell all of you this but I'm going to be visiting Paris this April! My mother informed me of this a few months ago and I started crying, I was so happy. I have been dreaming about going to Paris for practically my entire life. Even though I have never been there, I have vicariously expierenced the city and the culture through music, food, movies, and photographs. I have dreamed about living in a Parisian apartment overlooking the city and buying baguettes from bakeries and fresh fruit from street markets. I have longed to walk the famous cobblestone paths, visit art musuems, and document my life in film. One day, I hope to be fluent in French and be able to live and work there. Paris, comment je vous adore! 
          If any of you have ever been to this gorgeous city, I would love to hear the highlights of your trip or places I must visit (aside from the main tourist attractions, that's obvious). Although I am only going for a short while, I want to expierence the esoteric and clandestine nooks in order to find the root of Parisian culture. April, why must you be so far away?

Sweet Nostalgia

          School starts for me tomorrow. I know that the first week of school always makes me nostalgic for summer. This summer has been one of the best summers I've ever had. I have been in recovery for over a year now and I finally feel comfortable in myself. This summer was definitely dedicated to trying new things. That wasn't my plan at the beginning but it turned out to be and I'm satisfied.
          I could not even began to recall all the lovely adventures I've had this summer. And even if I could, it would take hours to articulate and elaborate. On a superficial level, summer was kayaking at night, staying up all night, traveling to new places, revisiting old places, reading my favorite novels and new books, discovering meditation, film cameras and photo shoots, thrifting, bike riding, chai spice lattes, tea, spending hours at coffee shops, meeting new people and making new friends, record players, visits to the beach, typewriters, frozen yogurt, car rides at night, road trips, movie marathons, daydreaming, lounging in the sun, waking up in the afternoon, having a job, wearing victory curls and lipstick, discovering my love of the 60's, living and breathing art, collecting beautiful things, visiting my dream college, learning to drive, walks in the park, baking cookies, and wearing floral dresses and pretty hats.
          Summer, I will miss you.

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Soda Dreamer

          School starts in four days. I have mixed emotions about it. I'm excited for the structure, seeing my friends everyday, and for the new opportunities but I'm dreading seeing people I don't like, the chaos and the stress, and never having enough time because my schedule is consumed by homework and work.

          I've been told junior year is the worst year in high school. That doesn't bother me that much because I'm going to try to do my best in school anyway. I am going to apply for college (planning on going to FIDM, my dream school!) this year in order to freeze my tuition and that's an incredibly scary thought. As I rapidly approach the age where I am legally an adult, I realize how soon, I'll have to take care of myself. While I feel like I'm a pretty self-sufficient person, it's still a scary thought. But I suppose it's what I want. I have dreamed of being on my own and having complete independence and responsibility for myself. And soon, that will be the case.

          While I adore summer and the freedom and the languid afternoons, I am starting to resent this hot weather. I want fall weather! I want to wear tights, winter coats, and scarfs! I want Halloween, the leaves to change color, that distinct crisp air in the morning, and holiday festivities. I'm ready for a change and a challenge. My sophomore year last year was definitely a scary transition just because I was returning to a normal life after the crazy year of treatment and recovery. This year, I feel a  lot more comfortable and confident within myself. I am dreading yet anticipating this next school year.

The Sea is Calm

This is my life. These past few days have been so beautiful, I can't even stand it.

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Vintage Point Vintage

I am now a writer for the Vantage Point Vintage blog. Check out my post and the VPV store! They have such cute clothing!