The Last Goodbye

          Hello February! I don’t know why but this is one of my favorite months. Whenever I think of February, I imagine reds and pinks and whites, lovely flowers on the sides of Parisian cobblestone streets, velvet dresses with hearts cut out of the back, red lipstick, heart-shaped sunglasses, the book Lolita, and fake eyelashes. 

          Lately, I find myself terribly distracted. And strangely, I don’t care. I am too happy to care. Concentrating on anything, especially school, is nearly impossible. I forget to eat (not even intentionally either), to sleep, and I can barely engage in reality. I find my mind wandering off into my whimsical illusions and not even feeling guilty about it. I’ve realized that torturing myself with school and responsibility isn’t beneficial to my health. While it’s important, it’s not worth sacrificing my happiness in order to get perfect grades. Perfection is unattainable, I learned that in recovery. My standards for myself have lowered just because I’ve realized that I can be content without being in control of everything.

          Finals week was oddly stress-free. I got out of school early and I would just spend the entire time going on lovely adventures with friends. They would consist of writing, drawing, drinking Diet Coke, buying miscellaneous treasures like strawberry scented candles and heart shaped lollipops, listening to CocoRosie on vinyl, going to coffee shops, thrift store shopping in Long Beach, walking everywhere, going on night hikes, and watching lovely movies. I don’t want this to end.

          These are pictures I took with my digital camera. Although I prefer film, I'm really happy with how these came out. This is the lovely Margo, who is an incredible model.