School starts in four days. I have mixed emotions about it. I'm excited for the structure, seeing my friends everyday, and for the new opportunities but I'm dreading seeing people I don't like, the chaos and the stress, and never having enough time because my schedule is consumed by homework and work.
I've been told junior year is the worst year in high school. That doesn't bother me that much because I'm going to try to do my best in school anyway. I am going to apply for college (planning on going to FIDM, my dream school!) this year in order to freeze my tuition and that's an incredibly scary thought. As I rapidly approach the age where I am legally an adult, I realize how soon, I'll have to take care of myself. While I feel like I'm a pretty self-sufficient person, it's still a scary thought. But I suppose it's what I want. I have dreamed of being on my own and having complete independence and responsibility for myself. And soon, that will be the case.
While I adore summer and the freedom and the languid afternoons, I am starting to resent this hot weather. I want fall weather! I want to wear tights, winter coats, and scarfs! I want Halloween, the leaves to change color, that distinct crisp air in the morning, and holiday festivities. I'm ready for a change and a challenge. My sophomore year last year was definitely a scary transition just because I was returning to a normal life after the crazy year of treatment and recovery. This year, I feel a lot more comfortable and confident within myself. I am dreading yet anticipating this next school year.