I Am, I Am, I Am

I feel there are those of you who don't really know who I am. Or what I look like. Which I understand since I often post pictures I take of other people and not myself. So, I figured I needed to make a post just about me! Here's something I wrote that embodies some of my qualities and preferences. I feel like there is so much more to say but I will refrain since I do not want to make this post too long!

          I love my ivory skin and how wonderful red looks against it. I adore how much I wear red lipstick and my red hair. My obsession with Star Wars fills me with joy and I love indulging in Diet Coke. I think I have a sophisticated taste for music and movies and I enjoy peculiar and diverse things. I love learning and reading about everything and anything. Although sometimes I resent it, school has transformed me into a cognizant, cultivated person. My experiences and tribulations have blessed me with the gift of insight and wisdom. I love my modesty and humility. I am generous, pensive, considerate, and trust worthy. I understand I am young and, in some ways, naïve and ignorant. But I appreciate the fact that I am a student and that beyond my home lies a plethora of knowledge. 

           Libraries and thrift stores are the places I spend the most time at. Eating out and experimenting with food from other cultures is my absolute favorite. I possess an infatuation with the sea and it’s sad melancholy. Sunshine and warmth is my ideal type of weather as I only wear dresses. I’d rather wear tights or leggings than pants. 

           I love listening to other people and asking them questions. I love when people confide in me and I am nonjudgmental and patient. I wish there was a way in which people didn’t have to act fake upon first meeting. Small talk is the worst. I’d prefer a conversation about philosophy than the weather. I observe my fellow teenage peers as I do wild animals. They fascinate me for I cannot comprehend their actions or their preferences. Sometimes I hold myself on a pedestal because I’m evidentially more mature and aware than most of them. I hate it though because I believe in equality amongst people and it seems to alienate me from my peers even more. 

I want people to validate my emotions and praise my accomplishments and knowledge. I need reassurance and appreciation in order to be successful. I am compassionate and feel every aspect of my existence. Usually, I take things personally even though I try not to. I measure success with happiness and satisfaction instead of wealth and materialistic goods. The feeling I acquire from giving is better than receiving. Anything superficial and fake sickens me. Hollywood and mainstream media is something I avoid. Gossip magazines puzzle me. Why do people waste their time with such trivial and insignificant matters? I believe the obsession with celebrity’s lives, body image, and weight only fuels the negativity that already exists in America.

          I have an overactive imagination and I simply love mental stimulation. I love challenges and deciphering cryptic meanings in literature. Writing is one of my favorite past times and I especially love doing it on my typewriter. I wish I could paint. Art museums are wonderful. Art is responsible for my very being. It is the spiritual energy that I thrive on. It is my love and is embodied in everything I do and say. I wish to pursue in fashion for I believe I understand it quite well. I love and respect the artistic qualities in the draping of a dress, a tailored cut, or a certain fabric or material. But I resent the modeling industry and the negativity which exists within it. I think it’s poison.

          I despise when restaurants list the amount of calories in food. I think it disrupts the intuitive process. I have a very unique way in which I view food and body image. When people hear my opinions, they usually are confused. That happens quite often actually. I’m a very misunderstood person. People think I’m shy. But I’m not, I’m just a reserved person. I don’t usually offer my insight or opinion unless I am asked. If people would just ask me, I think they would be surprised at how candor I actually am. I see nothing as taboo or restricted. I do not believe in censorship. In fact, some of my favorite things to learn about are the “taboos” of society. 

          My favorite love story is Lolita, which is about a pedophile in love with a twelve-year-old. Typical and cliché romance novels and movies are the worst! I’m sure some of it exists, but perfection bores me. I have a dark and quirky humor. The Hangover was the worst movie I have ever seen and I hate stupid comedy movies. The expectations for a lot of things have lowered, especially in the movie industry. Since when is it appropriate to sacrifice dignity and quality for materialistic wealth? Movies nowadays are redundant or identical copies of each other. I rarely go to the cinema just because I find it pointless to waste my money on mediocre junk. Ever since I got Netflix, I frequently watch classic movies, silent films, or foreign movies. I absolutely adore French cinema. 

English and history are my favorite subjects in school. I wish there was a way in which I could spend hours in just those classes and neglect other subjects such as math (which I harbor animosity towards) and science (which I don’t mind but I’d rather not do). When my teacher assigns a book to read, poetry to analyze, or vocabulary to memorize, I usually have no complaint. Literature and poetry fascinates me. I love the feeling of losing oneself in a book or identifying with an idea or motif in a novel. While at the moment AP world history is killing me (AP exam approaching), I just love it! 

          Strange things fascinate me. I simply love reading about serial killers, death, pedophilia, and other peculiar subjects. One of my many loves include photography. I especially adore black and white vintage photographs! And old Hollywood stars! One of my goals is to be as classy as they are. Audrey Hepburn and Vivien Leigh are amongst my favorite old actresses. With all this redundant, mediocre acting and media, I have been resorting to watching the classics. There’s something so magical about music from the 50s or a movie from 20s and 30s. Unfortunately, my preferences renders me incapable of discussing them with people my age! I find conversations with adults more fulfilling. This doesn’t bother me that much though. I rather enjoy my precious and sophisticated taste. 

 

 

Photo credit to my beautiful friends, Kalaija and Nikki.