Soft Dark and Dreamless

Originally I was working on a post talking about being happy and carefree ..but I couldn't finish it.

Things happened and my words would have been hollow, a lie.

I try to preach happiness and self-acceptance yet I can't even take my own advice. Whenever I am happy, I fall back into the ditch I have dug, the one I want to escape yet find comfort in. I suppose best safety does lie in fear after all.

I look okay.

 But I'm falling apart.

And so now I'm alone. Broken. Lost. Confused. Angry. Cold. Grieving.

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Why can't you accept I'm not going to change.