Insight

          I can't believe it's been a month since I last posted. I really have no excuse. Even though I've been busy with school and work and all my other responsibilities, I have purposely avoided posting on here just because I didn't have the energy. I don't want blogging to become a burden to me. I love it and I just need to get back into the habit.

          Although these are from a month ago, here are my adventures in Oregon in picture form. All the pictures of myself are taken by Kalaija and all the pictures of her are taken by me. I've had a lot of camera issues lately so that's why I didn't get to take that many pictures.. my camera broke the day before I left so I took my friend's camera but her battery died. I used one of Kalaija's old cameras and I took sixty pictures on it only to discover that the camera is broken. So none of them came out. I'm still a little upset about that but I realize that I can't do anything about it.. At least Kalaija got good pictures! 

          I've been experimenting with my digital camera just because I was forced to. Although I prefer film, I realize that I can take beautiful pictures with digital. Fortunately, I now have a working film camera so I plan to be taking a lot of pictures. Lately, I've been exploding with creativity. I've been watching films I adore, discovering beautiful new music, going on adventures with my wonderful friends, and writing more. I find myself distracted and unable to concentrate at school because I have so many ideas. I've been day dreaming more and fantasizing about faraway places and the possibilities of the future. Although school is a really big priority for me, I'm beginning to question why I'm torturing myself. I love learning and lately I've been resenting school because of all the stress and pressure that comes along with it. I'm going to art school. Academics aren't as important as artistic skill so I don't know why I've been pushing myself beyond my limits. I'm gradually learning that my grades don't define me, that I shouldn't let my negativity consume me, that I am deserving of happiness, and that I need to focus on art more because it brings so much joy into my life.