My Fingers Crawl Like Spiders

Why doesn't it feel like Halloween? For some reason, last year felt so much different. There's only one person on my street who has halloween decorations up (aside from me). It just seems like no one gets into the spirit anymore.. :(

Anyway! I want to wish all my blog readers a happy Halloween! I'm going to go trick or treating (ahem, you're never too old) with two good friends and then watching scary movies all night. What are your plans?

Bad Blood

I really wonder about you sometimes. I know that if you try to talk to me again I can't do it. I couldn't handle what you put me through before.

I'm sorry.

All Her Bones Are Broken

Oh hey. An outfit post; that's something you rarely see.

Shirt: LA

Shorts: My moms

Shoes: LA

Cardigan: Banana Republic

Also; the questions in the last post answered!

Courtney asked: What is it that you aspire to do or be? It can be career or just in general, but basically, what are your goals for the future?

 

My biggest dream is to work in the fashion industry. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve adored fashion and art. I plan to attend FIDM (Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising) and get a degree in fashion design and business. After I graduate, my plan is to work for other designers for about ten to fifteen years, learning the industry, and making connections before I think about opening my own business. I don’t care if my designs ever make it to the big runway. It would be nice, of course. On a general level, my goal in life is to do what I love. I want purpose. I want to have a reason to wake up every morning. I want to pursue my passions and learn more about who I am. Another goal is to continue making art (sewing, photographing, drawing, ect). Art is basically my life and I know I’ll be doing it for the rest of my life.

Barbra asked: I’d like to know where you live and what do you do (study or work or both? )

 

I live in Southern California in a wealthy suburb of which I loath. I’m a high school student (a sophomore to be exact). No job.. Yet.

Rebecca asked: Would you rather know everything, or nothing?

 

Nothing. When you’re ignorant and naive, everything in the world is so magical. It’s just like being a kid I guess. Although, it would bother me that I know nothing at all but I’d rather not know anything than everything.

Josephine asked: Your favourite book as a child. Your greatest fear. The best thing a total stranger ever did for you. And your lipstick shade.

 

I loved a lot of books as a child but I’d have to say either the Tales of Peter Cotton Tail or You’re Just What I Need. Greatest fear.. Hm.. Being overweight (It sounds ridiculous and petty, I understand, but I’ve struggled with body image and weight). I would have to say all of the strangers at my treatment centers. I shared and opened up to people I never even met before about my deepest, darkest thoughts and secrets and I was rewarded with comfort and love. It’s hard to describe the feeling, it was just so beautiful and wonderful, to be loved for who you were and not for what you pretended to be or for the way you looked. The most amazing thing is that these people (at first) were complete strangers. I felt really optimistic during that phase of my life. My faith in the goodness and beauty of mankind was restored after months of seclusion and isolation from people. And lastly, probably red. I wear it about everyday. Although I have purple and black as well.

 

Rainboy asked: Tell me something that you have never told a soul (Be honest).Your favorite book as a child? And the last and most important: Are you single?

 

Oh gosh.. I honestly don’t know. I’m so incredibly open with my life and my experiences. I don’t really keep secrets. And that’s the honest truth. See answer above. And yes, I am single.

I really enjoyed answering all your questions. And if you didn't have a chance to ask me anything, I'd love for you to stop by my formspring! There's a link on the side of my blog.

Black Velvet

How I miss taking pictures.. For some reason, I got this idea and felt so inspired. Viola! My result.

By the way, these pictures are of me! I understand that some of you may not know what I look like because of all the pictures I post. Also, I've been getting questions about whether or not the pictures I post are mine or not. I will say if they're mine. And if you click on the link of the picture, it leads to it's direct source. Hope that clarifies!

I also have decided to write more on here. I feel like my readers don't know who I am, my dreams, my hopes, my story, ect. And I feel like I owe you guys all of that. After all, this is a blog about my life. To initiate this change, I want all of my readers to leave questions on this post (This post only!) asking about anything! Anything you want to know about me, my life, my expierences, my friends, ect. Up to you! And I think I'll do a video response :) (My webcam sucks so maybe not).

I really owe a lot to my readers. I love you all.

Sweet Apathy

You'll always know the truth, no matter how many times you lie.

And When It's Two o'clock It Feels Like Five

"She could no longer borrow from the future to help her through the present grief." -Nathaniel Hawthorne

You Don't Know It But You're Coming Right Along

Sometimes I wish you could just be me for an hour. Just to see what it's like. Just to understand.

Because sometimes words aren't good enough.

These are actually digital, but I edited them to look grainy. I love this black and white film effect. I got out of school early and took a few pictures; God have I missed it.

You Lied To Me, Lied To My Face

This place isn't home. It's just a bed with a closet full of clothes. My clothes, my jewerly, my possessions, my everything. My family. My friends. Who I am, what I represent, my relationships, my reputation. Then why do I feel lost. Or empty.

And you're just a person. The only person I want to spend time with for weeks on end. The only person I could talk to and confide in because I know for a fact that you'll always love me unconditionally. Just one person would be all it would take. Just one life, one friendship, that could change the person I was and could make me do or go anywhere. And I wouldn't care about anything else because I would have that one person. We don't know where or what we're doing. We have no sense of direction, no money. But we have an idea. Our hunger for happiness and freedom is what blindly leads us forward.